Saturday, July 26, 2008

Saturday Night Rant - It's a Love-Type Thing

I figured I would start up a weekly sort of thing so that I had a reason to post regularly. We'll see how long that lasts... 

Anyway, the first Saturday Night Rant is below. 

It's a Love-Type Thing

I was at a wedding this evening when I ran in to an old crush of mine. We'd made out a couple of times and had even gone so far as oral, but nothing seemed to draw further than that. He was about a year younger than man, but whatever. 
So, I have to say, he looked good. But, unfortunately, he didn't seem to recognize me and I wasn't about to go "Hey, remember me? I'm that guy that used to suck your cock!" 

The night went on, I took a few pictures. Then my friend Hannah, her mother was the bride, pointed out her cousin and his boyfriend to me. I smiled and gave the obligatory "aww" and talked to her for a bit. That's when I looked up and realized I'm really alone and it bugs me but doesn't. 

It's a hard thing to explain. I don't know so much what I mean when I say this. But It's sort of like... Like you're happy but there's that little voice in the back of your head that keeps saying "Yeah, you say you're happy, but.."  
So, anyway, I was kinda starting to realize that maybe I'm not as happy as I thought I was. I blamed my single life on my little podunk town, but how could that be if these two guys had found each other? Okay, might not be the town. 

I tried to talk to this guy I'd known when I was young and it was so awkward. He either didn't remember me or didn't want to... And then I thought maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just not wantable. There's something fundamentally wrong with me that makes me incapable of relationships... 

But what should I believe? Is it my town? Is it my own fault? Is it society's fault? Why do I feel alone and ashamed when I should be proud and surrounded by people that love me and that I love? What on earth are we supposed to believe? 

Who should we blame for the pain loneliness brings? I just don't understand what I should feel. I want to be happy, I really do. But when every aspect of your life seems to turn itself against you and you're getting no where, what do you do? 

I watched Hannah's cousin and his boyfriend interact. Dance, whisper to each other, gentle touches here or there... I watched it and I wanted it. Instead, I was left with a table full of people I barely knew or didn't get along with. Why had a shown up? Oh, right... I was getting paid for the pictures. 

I tried to bury myself in the work there, taking shots of the bride and groom, people having fun. but it just got to me further. It got to the point where Hannah was asking me what was wrong. I lied and said I was just tired. I didn't need to bother her with my stupid inner workings...

So, I still don't know exactly what it's all about, really...

What do you think? 

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lightning Bolt Shot


I'm in my bed right now, sitting at the window watching a thunderstorm
unfold. It's beautiful.

It started innocently with some lightning in the distance and then
quiet thunder. It got louder and closer as the wind picked up and you
could smell the storm on the wind.

Now it's starting to rain lightly and I'm in front of an open window,
typing this on my phone. I love storms. There's something so wild and
free about them. If it weren't for the little gangbangers in my city,
I'd be outside right now. Everything is so peaceful yet chaotic in a
storm. I LOVE it!

Peace out,

Sent from my iPhone

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Dark Knight

I saw The Dark Knight yesterday with a friend of mine. Not only was
the writing and directing fantastic but Heath Ledger blew the other
Jokers out of the water.

He was horrifying, funny, creepy, and all around intimidating! There
were points I was cringing and frightened, points were I was laughing,
and points were I was crying.

Fantastic film. If you haven't seen it yet, go see it! You won't
regret coughing up 8 bucks to go!

Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, July 20, 2008

iPhone review

I caved. I've picked up an iPhone 3G now that they've finally become available in Canada. I chose to phone Rogers and buy it over the phone instead of waiting in line for however long. 
I've really been enjoying it so far. It's a wonderful little device. There's a lot you can do with it and I'm really enjoying it. I'll try to make some more posts to the blog from it and see how that goes. Maybe now that I've got the internet in my pocket, I'll remember to update more often.  

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Who Killed Amanda Palmer

Amanda Palmer, Lead Singer of The Dresden Dolls, pianist, songwriter, general all around fantastic artist, has decided to release a Solo Album. 

Who Killed Amanada Palmer is due out on September 16th.  12 Tracks, 1 cover, the rest original. Amanda's just as amazing solo as she is with The Dresden Dolls. You can download two of the tracks from the Gyget below that Amanda and Co. have so graciously offered us. 

Banner 2 Banner 1 go!