Monday, April 13, 2009
I had a dream last night that sort of put me off center. I wasn't too pleased to wake up in that, sadly, familiar cold sweat, feeling like someone I cared about had just died. The thing I don't understand is why the dream upset me so much. Well, that's kind of a lie... I have an idea.
It was just me graduating. From what, I don't know, but It seemed more than high school. Maybe it was University, who knows. But I was going through a graduation. And it hit the point where everyone's kind of milling about afterward in their dresses and suits and.. there was this guy. I ended up talking to him for a couple of hours. My subconscious apparently likes to give me boyfriends without letting me know in my dreams.
So we talk and it gets to the point where everything's winding down and everyone has to make their way out. We stand up, he looks me straight in the eye, touches my shoulder and says "Come with me to Italy." And without missing a beat, my response follows. I took his hand and gave it a kiss before looking him back in the eye. "You and I both know that even if I went with you, I'm not assured I would be able to stay.."
There was a moment of silence.
And then he nodded, turning to leave. He got in the elevator and I yelled after him, completely unable to even hear my own voice saying his name. He looked up before the doors closed and I said goodbye, waving to him.
The rest of the dream was trivial in comparison. The usual sort of things, worrying this is broken or that is, etc.
But this part... it really got to me. And I'm not too sure why my head decided to show it to me. I mean, I know I'm alone and I know I'm not the most graceful in a relationship. So why remind me of it?
Oh well. There's only so much we can expect out of our minds.